20 Nov Dealing With the Holidays When Your Divorce is in Transition
Divorce can be difficult any time of year, but facing the holidays when you are contemplating or have initiated divorce proceedings can be especially challenging. You and your spouse may have established cherished traditions together over the years and you may be worried about how your divorce will affect your children. You may also be facing the prospect of not spending Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Eve with your children.
Although these changes can seem overwhelming, the holidays can still be a time of joy for you. Follow these tips to help you not only get through the holidays while your divorce is in transition, but to enjoy them too:
- Keep some old traditions; start some new ones. Keeping and reinforcing some long-time family traditions can help you and your children adjust, as they can remind you of happy holidays gone by. Don’t be afraid to start some new traditions too. Maybe that’s doing something that your spouse used to handle, such as decorating the house or baking special holiday goodies. You could also simply start a tradition involving a favorite meal or holiday treat that you enjoy in your own way. Over time, these new traditions will become comfortable and familiar.
- Recognize moments of joy. Look for moments of joy and happiness, and embrace them. While your day-to-day life may be in flux, seek out moments of peace and joy. These don’t have to be big events, but could be as simple as hearing a favorite carol or watching a loved one open a gift you chose with care. Slowing down and embracing these seemingly small things can do wonders for your outlook.
- Understand that it’s OK to be sad. Allow yourself to feel sadness; know that it’s a natural part of the divorce and transition process. If you have young children, reassure them that their feelings are also normal. Talking openly together can help all of you adjust to the changed family circumstances.
- Keep holiday spending in check. Many people fight a tendency to spend too much buying lavish gifts for their loved ones. Divorcing parents often fall into this trap, trying to show their children they are loved by purchasing expensive gifts, or simply by buying too many gifts. Because your divorce will also mean changes to your financial picture, resist the urge to spend more than you can afford.
- Don’t fight about your children. While you and your spouse may not see eye-to-eye on much of anything anymore, try not to argue about your kids – or in front of your kids. Taking the high road can make the holidays easier for all of you.
- Don’t forget to take care of yourself. The holidays can be stressful enough even when you are not in the midst of a divorce. Remember to take time for yourself. Exercise, eat holiday treats and drink in moderation, and remember that a divorce can represent a fresh start and a new chapter in your life.
Dealing with a divorce during the holidays isn’t easy, but it’s still possible to enjoy the season. To discuss initiating a divorce, or if your spouse has indicated that he/she would like a divorce, make an appointment with an experienced, knowledgeable family law attorney today.
Whether you are considering a legal separation or a divorce, it is important to have an experienced, knowledgeable family law attorney by your side who can advocate on your behalf. To learn more and to schedule a free consultation, contact us online today, or call 619-866-3756.
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