Learning that your spouse is cheating on you can be one of the most heartbreaking moments of your life. Your spouse is someone who promised to be faithful to you for the rest of your lives, and suddenly learning this isn’t true can have far-reaching impacts.

But you are not alone. According to the CDC, approximately 40% of all marriages end in divorce. This means that there is plenty of wisdom available about how best to handle the situation. 

Discovering the infidelity is usually only the first step in the dissolution of your marriage in California. At some point, you will have to confront them about it, which can be as painful as discovering the infidelity. To confront your cheating spouse as effectively as possible, consider the following key tips.

Gather Evidence of the Infidelity

As soon as your spouse learns that you are aware of their infidelity, they may do whatever they can to hide all evidence of it. They may know that evidence of infidelity can be used against them in divorce proceedings.

That is why it’s important to collect as much evidence as possible before confronting them. This evidence could have a significant financial impact after a divorce. It could also affect child support and the custody agreement or order, if applicable.

Secure All Financial Records

Your cheating spouse might also try to hide finances after it becomes apparent that the marriage is heading to divorce. You can get ahead of this by securing all financial records, which can be much easier to accomplish before you have confronted your spouse instead of after.

Hire a Divorce Lawyer

Don’t wait to hire a divorce lawyer. An attorney can guide you on your next steps and even help you investigate. Keep in mind that just because you hire a divorce lawyer doesn’t mean your marriage will end. But preparing for that possibility beforehand can go a long way in protecting yourself and your rights, should you eventually opt for a divorce.

You may prefer not to go through with a divorce from your cheating spouse for a variety of reasons. One way to potentially avoid a divorce in this case is to get a legal separation. In California, legal separation allows you to divide your resources while still married

Additionally, there is no waiting period for a legal separation, which can be crucial when you are feeling the pain of infidelity. This time apart may help you save your marriage if you do seek to avoid divorce. 

Have the Conversation

No matter how much you plan, eventually, you need to have a conversation about the infidelity. Be calm and direct, supplying evidence as necessary if your spouse tries to deny your claims. Make sure you have access to emotional support before and after the conversation. 

Perhaps most importantly, discuss what you intend to say to your spouse with your lawyer first. While your lawyer may not be present, if you follow their advice, you can protect yourself if the marriage ends in divorce. Your lawyer can advise you on how best to approach your unique situation and help you avoid negatively impacting your divorce case in the future.

Make a Plan Before Confronting a Cheating Spouse

Discovering that your spouse has been unfaithful can be devastating. Still, before confronting them about it, make sure to talk to a lawyer and approach the situation carefully. By creating a careful plan beforehand, you can ensure you are in the best emotional and financial position possible, no matter the outcome of your conversation.

Contact Our Divorce Law Firm in San Diego, CA

Contact our experienced San Diego divorce lawyers at San Diego Divorce Lawyers, APC today for legal assistance. Contact our San Diego office at (619) 866-3756 to schedule a free consultation.

San Diego Divorce Lawyers, APC
2851 Camino del Rio S #430
San Diego, CA 92108